But you'll also be able to reign in any bad habits that might prevent you from nabbing a second date.
Her interests are reflected in what she likes to watch on a daily basis. Is she on the road to self-improvement and solely reads to better herself and her career, or does she read for pleasure? "This is a good way to know what her intellectual interests and passions are," Sullivan says "Instead of asking how close she is with her family, ask: 'Who's the most influential person in your life? "This will tell you more about her family dynamics and close relationships she has with friends." Unless she moved around a lot as a kid (this should spark questions, too), asking whether she still talks to friends from childhood will reveal how she values relationships and loyalty.
Good: You can see if she has a tight bond with her parents or siblings. "The five people we're around the most, shape us the most; her relationship to any one of her closest friends and family members tell you a lot about her," Jones says Waiting to be seated at your table or for your waiter to arrive?
Break the ice with a simple, straight-forward question like this. All these alternatives offer "insight into her lifestyle, taste, and knowledge about other cultures." Sullivan says.
Meet the experts: Sarah Jones is a relationship expert, and founder and CEO of coaching website Introverted Alpha, and Sameera Sullivan is the CEO of Lasting Connections, an elite matchmaking service. "This is a great ice-breaker because it's a little mischievous and flirtatious," Jones says.
"It's a sign you'd like to know her beyond surface level, while still giving her the freedom to reveal what she wants to share—and doesn't." This question lets you get a sense of what she feels strongly about and whether she's spirited and heartfelt.